12 Days of Christmas - Day 3

Day 3 - All In The Family

Psalms 133:1
Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!

When I think about spending time with family during the holidays I picture loved ones driving in from out of town, gathering together for food, fun, and fellowship.

In my mind I never think about the other side; faultfinding, friction, flare-ups and fatigue. It can be very stressful on families to be together.

George Bernard Shaw says “When our relatives are at home, we have to think of all their good points or it would be impossible to endure them.”

On my side of the family alone I think there are 40 of us between my brothers and sisters and their families. Our large group does not gathered together often. Usually, this time of year, we get together on Christmas Eve for a family party and hilarious “Dirty Santa” gift exchange. We do seem to get along great and enjoy being together.

This was not always the case. When I was younger, I do remember the sense of relief that would wash over me as I could finally break away and go to my own home for respite and quiet.

I consider myself to be very fortunate. One reason is that I truly love to be with my family, I find them funny and great company. But, I imagine too much forced togetherness can grow old even around witty and personable folk. This brings me to another reason I am lucky. When we gather it is usually at my mom’s house, which (if you have been reading earlier blogs, you will know) is right down the little gravel road. So, when I’m tired of my family, or just tired, all I have to do is go next door and I’m home.

However, spending time with family during the Christmas season does not refer only to visiting with all your relatives. It can be as simple as quality time with your spouse and children.

I read something recently that smacked me like a ruler across the hand. The article spoke of spending time with your loved ones at Christmas. It really drove home the message of giving them my attention. My hand is still stinging a little as I think about the “time” I spend with my husband and daughter. Most of the time when we are together, I am with them in time-space-continuum, but my mind is miles away, going over all the little lists I keep running in my head; work to-do, grocery list, church to-do, housework...on and on.

This is the line that slapped me:
"Attention requires being in the moment, without a running agenda in the brain, fully available for what that moment holds.”

Since I read that I have tried and tried, but I can’t remember a significant moment with a loved one that did not require our full attention at the time.

I don’t know how I can stop all the stuff swirling around in my head at any given time, but this year, I promise to be more deliberate about giving my entire, undivided attention to my family when we spend time together. I have a feeling it won’t just be a gift to them, but to me as well.

On this third day of Christmas, and throughout this season I hold on to, and celebrate my family.

As Desmond Tutu said:
“You don't choose your family. They are God's gift to you, as you are to them.”