Project 365

Here are my pictures for the week.
Monday morning the sky looks ominous, and the moon is still out.

Meet Sadie, our Katrina rescue dog. On Tuesday morning she almost blended in with the smattering of snow.

Meet Cooper, our other pup. He is usually found wherever someone has food. Here, he is is begging from Phil..."Please sir, may I have another?"

I have a lovely view from my office don't I? I am still very thankful to have a big window.

Cameo, aka, Big White Kitty, just started standing on her two hind legs. She cracks me up when she does this, but it is a little unsettling when she just stands there and stares at me.

This is me and Leslie, one of my best and oldest friends in the whole wide world. We are at her mom's birthday party Saturday night. I don't want to tell our age, but if we were married, this year we would celebrate our anniversary with ruby.

I love the silhouette of this tree. The starkness of the branches speaks to me of its placement in the cemetary where Phil and I both have family members buried.

Project 365 - Week 1 (For me)

Today starts a new blog project for me.

If you are a blogger, or someone who peruses blogs, you will understand this.

You read a blog, enjoy it, and then link to other blogs through their list. Last Sunday I came across this one: http://thebowyers.blogspot.com. The post I read was about joining up for some kind of picture-taking “fun.”

I am not a great photographer as is pretty clear from other pictures I’ve posted. But, I was intrigued so I read more about it. Project 365 is a venture to take a photo every day for a year. According to Sara at thebowyers:

“The original post said to post your picture every day, but I didn't think I would be able to follow through with that....hence Sundays!”

So, Sunday will become my Project 365 day.

And, as usual, I am late to the party so this may be the third week of the year, but it is my first week of this project. I am sure I will not be able to keep up which week is which, so from now on don’t count on me to know what number week I am on. However, I am going to try to keep up with posting on Sundays.

I was released from the hospital on Friday, and Monday these flowers were still cheering me up.

University of Kentucky vs Tenessee. Final score: UK 90 - UT 72. Jodie Meeks #23 ROCKS!

The sun coming up through the trees in my backyard.

Thursday when I got in my car it was 8 balmy degrees outside.

Jack Frost danced across my windshield Friday morning.

Last week before I was released from the hospital I had to drink this vile, viscous stuff. I didn't notice until the second dose how the label read. I felt it worthy to save the bottle:)

Today, my first chance for church this new year. We are back in our regular Sunday School rooms, but as you can see, we will not be meeting in our Sanctuary for a long time. This is a picture of the scaffolding on the alter as they work to clean and restore after the fire on December 4, 2008.

He Said Peace Be Still - Part 2

Last Friday I woke up extremely short of breath and dizzy. As per my usual solution, I ignore it, figuring it would go away.

It does not go away.

Friday night Phil takes me to an urgent care center. They will not accept me and suggest the Emergency Room.

I am less than happy.

Off we go to the ER to spend a fun-filled Friday night. There are two ambulances parked outside the doors, and the waiting room is almost full. I know we might as well settle down for a long wait.

In a short while I am called back to the triage nurse. I answer question after question and submit to an EKG. Back to the waiting room. Now, called to the registration desk, pertinent information and insurance given. And again, back to waiting.

AHA!

After only a few minutes my name is called and I am wheeled back, huffing and puffing, cutting line in front of all those waiting before me.

When I get to my cubicle an emergency tech is waiting. More questions. Hospital gown. IV started. Blood pressure, pulse ox and heart rhythm; wrapped, wired and reporting.

Now the real waiting begins.

Every once in a while I am poked and prodded, or wheeled away for additional tests.

I still expect to receive a shot of some type, go home, and feel ridiculous for wasting everyone’s time.

The ER doctor comes in and says I will be admitted.

Waiting,

Waiting,

Waiting…

Finally, a room. More questions. More poking. And… rest, for a couple hours anyway.

The next day, more tests, more tubes and ICU. I am dumbfounded! I am alert and I am in little pain.

By Sunday night I am out of ICU and back on the floor. I lose the IV and the oxygen. I feel pretty good when I am very still.

A friend from Sunday School comes to visit and brings me a copy of her sermon notes. The lesson was taken from Psalm 46; Being Still In God’s Presence.

Psalm 46:10 Be still and know that I am God.

“OK God, I do hear you.“ I say. There seems to be this recurrent theme in my life lately.

Last Friday, the first working day of 2009. There is so much for me to do at work to do to close out 2008. There are bills for me to attend to at home. Our Christmas tree is still up, and the house is a mess. And I am thinking, “here I am, stuck in the hospital, and cannot do anything about it.”

At first I worry, my natural tendency. Then, I realize, I cannot do anything about the “storms” that pressure me so, and I am almost joyful at the thought.

I know that God has been trying to teach me for some time now to “BE STILL.”

In my previous blog I said:

“Try as I may, I am lost. I can not find my way to be still. I know what to do, I just don’t know anymore, how to do it.”

God found a way.

Instead of wasting an entire week laid up in a hospital bed, worrying about the things I could not be doing, I had the opportunity for rest. I know it sounds unbelievable that one can find rest in a place where they wake you up several times during the night to take your vital signs and blood.

But it is true.

I take this week as a gift from God. He had to literally knock the wind out of me for me to be still, but I learned that it does not have to all depend on me. I do not have to carry the weight of the world on my shoulders. During last week I had many moments to be still and to seek God.

I am sure this last week was not the best way for me to begin a new work year. I am sure I will not feel quite so peaceful when I return and see the state of my desk. However, I am also certain God watched over me and gave me rest and stillness in the midst of my illness, to renew me, to teach me a new lesson, and a new beginning for a new year.

This year, I will remember that being still before God does a body more good than the same time spent worrying.

Psalm 46:1 God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.

He Said “Peace Be Still” - Part 1

For many years the song Peace Be Still has been in our repertoire for Living Pictures, and has been a favorite of many. This year, as our church choir sang in unfamiliar territory, saddened by our recent loss, and in the midst of personal chaos, the words took on new meaning for me.

I have felt the strain of constant stress over the past few months. Sometimes I felt as if I could win an Olympic medal in “WORRY.”

I felt pressure at work to compensate for an ill co-worker and to complete special projects and reports without falling behind in my own duties. My health just hasn’t “felt right.” I’ve had myriad small complaints of this-and-that which led me to general and constant malaise and grumbling. I worried over property taxes and Christmas, and the general state of our financial status in light of the current economy. I have worked on my writing, and helping to lead my Sunday School Class, which hasn’t come easily while in the midst of this stress-storm.

As a result there is guilt I’ve heaped on myself for shorting everyone; family, Girlfriends Class, church family, friends in general and work.

All of this culminated with the fire in our sanctuary. Our beautiful, peaceful sanctuary, where I first made a profession of faith, was baptized, married and ordained as a deacon. Many significant moments in my life, and encounters with God’s Holy Presence, took place within those walls.

If only I were a bear! I could crawl in a cave and hibernate until the storms pass and awaken to spring when everything is fresh and new.

As we practiced our limited songs of Living Pictures in a strange sanctuary the words took on personal significance.

When trouble rained upon me,
Sorrows gathered like a fog,
And it seemed my Savior’s face was hid from mine.
My heavy heart was full of doubt,
Shaken by the storm.
Then I felt His words bring comfort deep inside.

For the first time I truly understand this song is not just about the disciples in the boat during a storm. The song describes the storms of life we all feel from time to time. It describes me to a “T.”

He said peace be still.
And the winds and rains were calmed by His voice.
He said peace be still
And a miracle began
By the power of His command,
Peace be still.

OH, it seemed as if God was speaking directly to me.

In the space of a few measures of music I feel His love very clearly, cutting through all the worry and stress. I feel His gentle reminder of the way to peace,

Perfect peace,
His peace.

I only need to be still and know that He is God and that He has everything in His perfect care.

Be Still.

Easier said than done, I find.

In the words of the BeeGees:

How can you stop the rain from falling down?
How can you stop the sun from shining?
How can a loser ever win?

How can I be still when I continue to have the worries of the world surrounding me?

I must report to work, my aches and pains give me no relief, the economy still tanks. I try to retain that sense of love and peace I felt as we sang that song. I recite the words almost as a mantra to snatch a few minutes of the serenity garnered that day.

Try as I may, I am lost. I can not find my way to be still. I know what to do, I just don’t know anymore, how to do it.