Reconciliation

This morning I wake up, I am a little excited and a little nervous. I stress over my make up and hair.

It is beautifully sunny as I parked my car at my office. However, I can see my shadow on the asphalt crossing the parking lot. I look like Medusa, snakes of hair whipping around my head in the wind. There goes the hairspray and the “do” I left the house with.

The start of my morning goes very quickly, but about 10:30 am, time seems to slow exponentially. I am sure glancing at the clock every 3 to 4 minutes does not have anything to do with it. I notice my left knee twitching up and down. I feel the familiar twinge below my right thumb signaling my growing nervousness.

Lunchtime, I walk into the restaurant and there she is. My friend stood up and hugged me. I said,

“Oh, I think I’m gonna cry.”

I am sure the other diners looked at us wonderingly as we hugged and cried for the longest, sweetest time.

“What in the world is going on?” You might be thinking.

Reconciliation.

A beautiful word. Try it on. Roll it around in your mouth. This is one of the sweetest words in the English language.

Today I reconciled with my friend.

I feared our friendship was lost forever.

For months I nursed my bruised feelings, my self-righteous-feeling pain. My friend, also experiencing those same hurts.

Then I mourned. For years I lamented the loss.

You know those long-time girlfriends you have? The ones you cannot separate your past from theirs? I have 3 or 4 of these friends who go back to elementary school. Back in those days it seemed as if our brains and our hearts were cloned. We all thought alike. We like the same things, the same people, the same songs.

It aches to lose one of those life-long friends.

I have been heart-sick. I have felt incomplete…..And yet, I held back from attempting to mend the chasm because I have been afraid. The fear of rejection held me firm in its grip.

And then, today, the hugs, the tears…the beauty that is a friend. I marvel at the grace inherent in friendship. At once, we were both talking and laughing at the same time, reaching over to touch or pat each other’s hands, as if to make sure the other is really there and those lost years melted away. Here I was, sitting across from my beautiful friend. My heart sighed with contentment.

Isaiah 41:13 For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you.

I imagine God is like that when we reconcile ourselves with Him. I believe He holds on to us and cries tears of joy. I picture Him rejoicing the return of His beloved, calling us his friends and reaching out to lovingly hold our hand.